SOLO IMPERFECTO

I did everything to escape her, even though she is an integral part of my story. At the moment when I think of her far from me, her icy hand grabs my neck to tell me: “I will always be here. You can see a positive side to it because I allow you to breathe sheltered from others, and give you a framework to write. Well, it’s true that on the other hand, I’m making you suffer. I thought you were optimistic. You’re not? Or are you no longer?”

She came back today, and I don’t know for how long. I planned to take shelter in the mountains with my wife and children. I usually say that life is a question of choice and will, but in this case, I see inevitability. The man that I am and who plays every shot to the fullest is at this very moment realizing the evidence. I have been alone for a long time, have a loving heart, and return to solitude after a short break. A restless inner life is what has characterized me since childhood. In this pediatric department, I extracted strength from the ordeal and built an overflowing imagination.

40 years later, I am no longer in a hospital and the blades of loneliness came to hit me when I least expected it. I can choose to suffer at a minimum, but suffering all the same, there will be. The hand I was holding came undone to stab me. For my sake, my heart was ripped out. For my sake, the link has been severed.